Today, I’m going to walk you through how to strengthen your marriage with a weekly marriage meeting.
Because marriage provides an incredible opportunity to experience an unending source of joy and satisfaction with your spouse – you get to be lovers, best friends, co-parents, adventure co-pilots and so much more.
But that doesn’t happen by default.
Having a marriage that’s on fire, fun, passionate and exciting takes dedication and consistent hard work.
Yet many men wait until there’s a problem to start working on it. You get busy with work, kids, and juggling schedules, and forget to prioritize your relationship with your queen.
And before you know it you’ve become platonic roommates.
Do not become roommates with your wife
It wasn’t too long ago that my wife and I felt this pull.
We (maybe like you) are incredibly busy with:
It’s a lot to juggle and sometimes feels like we don’t have time for each other.
So we started running a Marriage Meeting each week.
It takes 15 minutes.
We do it every Sunday morning.
And it’s completely changed our marriage for the better.
Sit down, grab your beverage of choice (coffee is the right answer) and run the marriage meeting like this:
Step 1: Appreciation
Start the meeting with gratitude and appreciation.
Tell each other everything you can think of that you specifically liked or admired about your partner during the past week.
The more specific the better.
- That dinner you cooked Thursday night was fantastic. Thank you for taking time to try new recipes.
- You looked stunning in that black dress Wednesday night. I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.
- I appreciate how you never check your phone when we’re talking
- Thank you for taking the kids to the doctor.
- I appreciate the hot sex we had last night.
The goal here is to make each other feel SEEN.
Pro tip – this is why it’s important to document your days and take notes throughout the week. Do not show up empty-handed and wing it. Come with ammo.
Step 2: Chores
This is the business portion of the meeting where you answer the question:
What needs to get done this week?
- Appointments to be made
- Kids to be driven somewhere
- Things around the house that need fixing
Agree on priorities, timelines and who will do each task.
Then quickly review your finances and budget:
- Are you on track?
- Off track?
- Need to make changes?
This ensures you both are on the same page and prevents miscommunication from spiraling out of control.
Pro tip – Document all of this so that at your next meeting you can review what got done, discuss why undone tasks weren’t completed, and set new goals and priorities for the coming week.
Step 3: Plan for good times
If you don’t plan good times, they won’t happen.
This can be good times together (like a date night) or good times individually (hiking with the boys).
Keep it fun and spicy.
Don’t become roommates.
Never stop dating each other.
Happy marriages depend upon:
- You striving to be an excellent, interesting, and well-rounded person yourself
- Doing things with your spouse that promote fun, intimacy, flirting and growth
Step 4: Challenges
Your marriage will have problems and challenges.
And that’s okay.
Problems hate fresh air.
Get them out in the open and work on them.
- The (mis)behavior of one of your children and what to do about it
- Spouse isn’t backing you up when you’re disciplining the kids
- Lack of intimacy/unhappiness with the frequency of sex
- Where to spend Thanksgiving/Christmas
- Spouse always leaves kitchen a mess
But don’t turn this into a roast.
You and your wife can each bring up 2 issues per meeting.
That way it stays focused and productive and doesn’t take a turn to negative town.
Pro tip – if you struggle to discuss challenges without getting heated, start small and build up over time. Solving small problems now builds confidence to solve larger problems later.
A baseball player doesn’t wait for his swing to go to shit before he does tee work.
Your marriage is no different.
Show up each day, put in the reps and work on it.
That’s how you build a marriage that’s on fire, fun, intimate and deeply connected.
Run your first Marriage Meeting this weekend.
Then hit reply and let me know how it goes.
⚡️ Worth your time
This poster showing your entire life in weeks in one glance.
I’m ordering one for my office.
It’s a bit fatalistic, but seeing it on a daily basis will push me to take action, enjoy every moment, and focus more on the things that matter.
🤔A quote to ponder
“The art of marriage is really the art of keeping up to date with your partner, of staying on track with your own and each other’s life goals as they emerge, exist, and change. It is about supporting each other and staying connected emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually.” – Marcia Berger